Mom and Dad with my 3 sisters
The title if this post is from my song “Fine Young People (Living Life)” from my first CD “See The World”. That lyric means more to me now than ever!
I am finally getting back to doing what I love to do!! I am writing and recording new music! I have been working with a great Producer named Lang Freeman from the band Sounds Under Radio. He has been a Godsend! So far, I am loving what he has created with my song “Not Enough (Falling For Your Love)”. There is a video preview at the bottom of this page.
It’s been a long time since I have been motivated to be creative. I have laid low for almost a decade. Life came at me hard and fast and knocked me for a loop! I am just coming out of the other end of a very long 10 years.
In 2011 my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer. She was 74 at the time, which is very late in life for that kind of cancer. The next 4 years were a roller coaster ride of chemo and surgeries including a colostomy and a reversal. The whole time she fought like a champ!! She was never in remission because there were residual cancer cells in her abdomen that wouldn’t quit.
In 2015, I had booked a full band show to celebrate my 50th Birthday in Austin, TX, where I live. 3 days before the show, I got a call from my sister letting me know that my mom was being moved into hospice. Her health got worse after too many rounds of chemo. Her body just couldn’t take it anymore.
I cancelled my show and caught a flight to Long Island to be with her and the rest of my family. When I got there she was in bad shape. She was bed ridden and barely eating. We put her on morphine to ease the constant pain and fed her as much as we could. She was wasting away.
But the next several weeks were filled with so much love! Our relatives came from all over the Northeast to say goodbye. We spent as much time with her as possible. I stayed with parents, helping as much as I could. My sisters had done so much and I live so far away. I felt like I needed to make up for lost time. My father was physically and emotionally drained from watching the love of his live fade away. I stepped up and he was grateful.
I fed her. I changed her diapers. I gave her morphine. I told her I loved her a million times and that still wasn’t enough. I stayed as long as I could but needed to get back to my husband and to work. I said goodbye through tears, knowing it would probably be the last time I saw her alive. It was.
Her funeral was actually a wonderful family reunion, filled with laughter as well as tears. We created large collages of photos of my mom throughout her life. It was an awesome tribute to a beautiful woman. My husband was with me. She loved him and made him feel like he was a part of her family.
Our lives got back to normal. The following year my husband Steve and I travelled with my Dad back to The Azores, where he and my mom were born. We were, once again, overcome by the beauty of the Island. Every turn is like a postcard picture!! Life was going amazingly well.
In September of 2017, Steve went in for his colonoscopy. There was a growth. It was stage 3 Colorectal cancer, which had spread to 2 of his lymph nodes. We did our best to stay positive as he went through chemo and radiation. Then removal surgery that left him with an ileostomy for 9 months. He continued with more chemo and finally a reversal of the ileostomy. Steve is a fighter. He made his way through some very dark times with lots of pain and nausea and exhaustion. I did what I could to help him through it. It was a struggle for both of us that lasted for over 2 years. We won!
Steve has been cancer free for the last several years! We are as back to being as normal as we can be.
I’m finally creating again! I have been recording new music and I plan to release several singles over the next year! I have a newfound gratitude for everything that comes my way and I’ve made it a habit to look for more to be grateful for. It is an upward spiral of finding the good in everything that happens, even when it is difficult or challenging! We make the most of it. We celebrate life and we live for now because that is all that is guaranteed!!