The Story Behind The Song: “Feel This Way”

This song started with the chord walk down of the bridge. I was fiddling around with my guitar and came up with a melody for that part of the song as well as the line about time not being on my side. That’s a pretty pessimistic view for the young guy I was when I wrote this. But, I know it fit how I was feeling at the time. 

I have always lived with a very high level of anxiety. The endless “what ifs” and over-thinking of every perceived threat was taking its emotional toll and I was trying anything to relieve the anxiety, including meditation. It was also a time when I was letting go of organized religion and the judgement that I felt growing up gay. This song is about the frustration of the very slow progress I was making. 

Even after all these years, I still deal with anxiety but I recognize the “triggers” better and I have better tools to deal with it and minimize its impact. It will always be with me but I no longer feel the despair that inspired this song.

 

Feel This Way 

Feel this way 
Feel this way 
Feel this way 

I was alone 
But I never thought I’d feel this way again 
When the floorboards underfoot were caving in 
And the walls were filled with foam 
And the chemicals were gone 
I never thought I’d ever feel this way again 

Let’s start the show 
Now the Sunday Matinee is on again 
But the people in the play are paper thin 
Is the ending all you know? 
Is the Spirit good to go? 
I never thought I’d ever feel this way again 

And it’s a strange day 
Trying to heal from these thoughts gone wrong 
And it’s a strange day 
Time doesn’t feel likes it’s on my side at all 

And so we go 
Does a Big Bang mean the race will now begin? 
Can a man with tiny footsteps ever win? 
Is it safe to be alone? 
Will the demons soon be gone? 
I never thought I’d ever feel this way again 

And it’s a strange day 
Trying to heal from these thoughts gone wrong 
And it’s a strange day 
Time doesn’t feel likes it’s on my side at all 

And so we go 
Does a Big Bang mean the race will now begin? 
Can a man with tiny footsteps ever win? 
Is it safe to be alone? 
Will the demons soon be gone? 
I never thought I’d ever feel this way again 
I never thought I’d ever feel this way again 
I never thought I’d ever feel this way 

Feel this way 
Feel this way 
Feel this way

1 comment

  • Rich
    Rich Calabasas, CA
    I remember you going through this at the same time I was but while I leaned on my religion you were looking for a new path. I never knew the story of this song even though I’ve known you for over 30 years. Like you, I still suffer from anxiety. I haven’t found a way to control it. I have your two CD’s and I’ve used them as an escape many, many times. Now they bring me to a simpler time. Thanks for sharing that story. I hope you do this with more songs. It’s not often we get to go into the head of a singer/songwriter.

    I remember you going through this at the same time I was but while I leaned on my religion you were looking for a new path. I never knew the story of this song even though I’ve known you for over 30 years.

    Like you, I still suffer from anxiety. I haven’t found a way to control it. I have your two CD’s and I’ve used them as an escape many, many times. Now they bring me to a simpler time.

    Thanks for sharing that story. I hope you do this with more songs. It’s not often we get to go into the head of a singer/songwriter.

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